Top 10 peeves dogs have with humans

‎Top 10 peeves dogs have with humans:

10. Dog sweaters. Have you noticed the fur?

9. How you act disgusted when I lick myself. Look, we both know the truth, you're just jealous.

8. Getting upset when I sniff the crotches of your guests. Sorry, but I haven't quite mastered that handshake thing yet.

7. Taking me to the vet for "the big snip", then acting surprised when I freak out every time we go back.

6. The sleight of hand, fake fetch throw. You fooled a dog! What a proud moment for the top of the food chain.

5. Any haircut that involves bows or ribbons. Now you know why we chew your stuff up when you're not home.

4. Any trick that involves balancing food on my nose... stop it!

3. Taking me for a walk, then not letting me check stuff out. Exactly whose walk is this anyway?

2. Yelling at me for barking... I'M A FRIGGIN' DOG YOU IDIOT!

1. Blaming your farts on me... not funny ... not very funny at all!