Just found out today........

I'm glad you feel better & got some closure & please don't take this the wrong way, but IMO you kind of put the daughter on the spot. If the deceased & family would have wanted it other than a small family ONLY affair, they would have made some announcements. Yes I'm disappointed & bitter after having seen so many dying PT's/families/my own Fathers last wishes disregarded in favor of making the living more comfortable. Your paying final respects IS NOT a dishonorable thing, just one of those no win situations where you may have to do the wrong thing for the right reason.