Getting your money's worth!

good

an old couple are sitting in church. the little old lady turns to her husband and says I just ripped a silent but deadly fart, what should I do? the husband replies, when we get home change the battery in your hearing aid.

A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the
Mechanic it died. After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.

She says, 'What's the story?'

He replies, 'Just crap in the carburetor'

She asks, 'How often do I have to do that?' :eek