Drunk sitting at the bar goes to use the restroom.
A few minutes later the bartender hears this awful scream, so he heads over to the restroom to check it out.
Just as he nears the door another scream comes from inside the men's room. He bangs on the door and asks what going on?
The drunk says,"Every time I try to flush the toilet, something squeezes my nuts!"
The bartender opens the door, looks inside and says to the drunk,"You idiot, you're sitting on the mop bucket!".
😆 😆 😆
😆 Now that's one shot to many. 😆
A game warden is observing a field and keeps seeeing doves fall out of the sky with no shots. He walks over to investigate and finds a man collecting the doves. The game warden asks the man for his hunting license and to empty his weapon. The man replies, " I'm not hunting and I don't have a weapon." The game warden asks the man, "Well how are you killin these doves?" Then the man replies, " I'm uglying them down." The game warden has never heard of such a thing so the man shows him. A dove comes flying across the field and the man gives it a look and poof the dove falls out of the sky. The game warden is amazed and says, " Well I've never seen anything like that!!" The man replies, "That is nothing, my wife is better at it than me." The game warden asks, "Well why isn't she out here with you?" The man replies, " You don't want to do that! She busts the birds up too bad!!"
This guy was duck hunting and a game warden stops him and checks his ducks. First duck the warden looks at he sticks his finger up the ducks ass and then smells his finger and sez this is a Fl duck ,you gotta Fl. duck stamp,guy whips it out here ya go. Next duck warden sticks his finger up the ducks ass and sniffs and sez this is a Ga. duck you gotta Ga. duck stamp. Guy pulls another one out of his wallet and makes the warden look bad.One more duck and warden does it again,sniffs his finger and this time he's sure he has the guy. He said this is a California duck,let me see yer Cali duck stamp,guy whips it out of his wallet and the warden is just furious. He said yer pretty good son where ya from? The guy dropped his drawers,spread his cheeks and said Your pretty good too,you tell me.
