To the guy doing my wife. Yes you know who you are. Yes i know, No i am not angry, i would just ask a few things of you. After all you are giving it to my wife.
1) Please stop leaving the toilet seat up, i keep getting blamed and it is starting to get old.
2) You may be giving me the chance to go fishing more often but please stop drinking all my beer. It is fine if you have a couple while you visit ( god knows i drink plenty before i find her attractive ) but please leave me a few as i have to be there longer then you.
3) If you do drink the last one buy more or leave money on the counter, i will pick some up.
4) Please replace the toilet paper when you use it all. For some reason my 5yr old son believes if its not there he does not have to wipe. we keep it under the sink unless you can recomend a better place.
5) After doing my wife please use something disposable to wipe off with. The basket of clothes on the right is mine and the clothes are clean as my wife does not do my washing, when i run out of time rushing to work. Last week my sweatshirt was crusty (thanks)
6) Please do not tell my children you are there uncle, they are young not mentally challenged.
7) Please stop turning the heating up, you pay nothing and HEATING COMPANY is putting it to me, my wife may like it but i think it hurts.
8) When she asks "do these pants make me look fat" say NO. You may think that giving a different answer will make her think twice about eating a gallon of ice cream a day but all you are doing is giving her a reason to go buy more pants that she will look just as fat in.
9) Stop eating the baked goods. The brownies you ate were from my mom for my birthday. My wife has not cooked anything that good for years and if she does she will not share.
10) Try shifting your weight when you sit on my chair. The recliner that i rarely have time for ( because of overtime, t-ball pratice, running kids here and there) has a grove in it that forces me to roll to the left.
Lastly i would like to thank you for taking her to lunch on valentines day. She was not as hungry as usual and only ordered one meal. I may be able to use the money i saved to take the children to a movie. I hope you can help me with these items, it may become ackward if i have to confront her. If you can do this for me i will give you a heads up on when i will be gone and for how long so that you dont feel rushed.
p.s i am going to take the kids to the great wolf lodge on the 3rd of april for four days, i have a bottle of vodka above the fridge if you find yourself low on beer.
😆 😆
