The Bridge
A man on his Harley was riding along a California beach when suddenly the sky clouded above his head and, in a booming voice, God said, 'because you have tried to be faithful to me in all ways, I will grant you one wish.'
The biker pulled over and said, 'Build a bridge to Hawaii so I can ride over anytime I want.'
God replied, 'Your request is materialistic; think of the enormous challenges for that kind of undertaking; the supports required reaching the bottom of the Pacific and the concrete and steel it would take! I can do it, but it is hard for me to justify your desire for worldly things. Take a little more time and think of something that could possibly help man kind.'
The biker thought about it for a long time. Finally, he said, 'God, I
wish that I, and all men, could understand women; I want to know how she feels inside, what she's thinking when she gives me the silent treatment, why she cries, what she means when she says nothing's wrong, why she snaps and complains when I try to help, and how I can make a woman truly happy.
God replied: 'You want two lanes or four on that bridge?"
god has a good sense of humor
A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick and he had a half-empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple minutes later, he asked the priest, "Father, what causes arthritis?"
"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your fellow man," the priest replied.
"Imagine that," the drunk muttered. He returned to reading his paper.
The priest, thinking about what he had said, turned to the man and apologized: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"
"I don't have arthritis, Father," the drunk said, "but I just read in the paper that the Pope does."
lol
Saving The Prez
>
> On Obama's last trip to Hawaii, he went swimming at Waikiki Beach. He
> got caught in a riptide and was been pulled out to sea. Three young
> surfers swam out to him and brought him to shore. He wanted to reward
> them, and asked what they would like.
>
> The first said he wanted to be a fighter pilot, and Obama said he would
> get him an appointment to the A.F. Academy.
>
> The second one said he wanted to command a submarine. "Fine, I'll get
> you into the Naval Academy."
>
> The third said he wanted to be buried at Arlington. Obama looked
> puzzled and asked why such a young person was concerned about where he would be buried.
> "Because", said the surfer, "my father is a Vietnam Veteran, and when I
> go home and tell him I saved your life, he's going to kill me."
>
