Nite afore Christmas

T'was the nite afore Christmas and this site was covered with fear,cuz everyone's been trying but ain't killed no buck deer.They bought all the right stuff snake boots and wal-mart gear,shiny guns and camo but still no deer. They tried Richloam and Chass,and any other place that was near,still for all that effort nothing except one guy accidentaly shot on of FLDXT's steers. Ol' Santa was watchin' and wondering and couldn't figure out why,they just don't give up and give jogging a try. Lacyloo was passed out on the floor after drinking one beer,JohnL was shacked up with a hooker,got HIV we all fear.Allen was hanging upside down in a tree,bout' 40 feet up with a busted up knee.Now NAcho's been trying to get up in a stand,now his face is a new shade of red as he's sinking in Chass's quicksand.Hellbilly's been missing for awhile now if you really care,last I heard he went to NC and married a grizzle bear(kids look just like him).Kemster,now he's always planning a trip,but his wife has other plans for him like fixing the faucet that drips.There's many others on her that try really hard,to many to name but y'all know who you are. There's one that's special,so he thinks anyway,came all the way from Jersey,in our woods to play. Man he tries really hard,week after week,does all the right stuff speaks all the right speak.But with all his knoweledge and skill he just ain't had the luck, so tonight he figured he'd change all that sitting on his roof he'd get his first buck.He set up his stand,got the wind in his face,he knew tonight it would happen,right time and right place. He drank his first 6 pack,then he saw something move,he seen antlers coming his way ,he was in his New Jersey groove.Out came one buck ,then another and some more,he knew in a few minutes he'd be an ol' huntin' whore. Ol' cr0ck was ready as he put an arrow in his bow,he knew this time he was ready this time it was all go. But something happened before he let off his shot,his palms started sweating,and his body started tremblin' he couldn't draw back he went into shock. Well buck fever got him as he lowered his head,he watched all those big bucks fly off now it's time for bed.As he hung his head in shame,he noticed a package by his boots on it was his name. He tore off the wrapper,ripped open the box,got just what he wanted a brand new cd of Brokeback Mountain,some gay porn,and a pair of shriveled hog balls. MERRY CHRISTMAS everybody,sorry I missed some of you.