Carlos and the gorilla....

A small zoo in Kentucky obtained a
> very rare species of gorilla. Within a few weeks the
> gorilla, a female, became very difficult to handle.
> Upon examination, the veterinarian determined the
> problem. The gorilla was in heat. To make
> matters worse, there was no male gorilla available.
>
>
> Thinking about their problem, the Zoo
> Keeper thought of Carlos Santana, a redneck part-time
> worker responsible for cleaning the animal cages.
> Carlos, like most backwoods rednecks, had little sense,
> but possessed ample ability to satisfy a female of any
> species.
>
> The Zoo Keeper thought they might have
> a solution. Carlos was approached with a
> proposition.
>
> Would he be willing to mate with the
> gorilla for $500.00?
>
> Carlos showed some interest, but
> said he would have to think the matter over carefully.
>
> The following day, he announced that
> he would accept their offer, but only under five
> conditions: “First”, Carlos said, ‘I aint
> gonna kiss her on the lips.’
>
> The Keeper quickly agreed to this
> condition.
>
> ‘Second’, he said, ‘She must
> wear a Dale Earnhardt Forever’ T shirt’.
>
> The Keeper again readily agreed to
> this condition.
>
> ‘Third’, he said, ‘you can’t
> never tell no one about this.’
>
> Again, the Keeper readily agreed.
>
> ‘Fourth’, Carlos said, ‘I
> want all the children raised Southern Baptist.’ Trying not
> to laugh, the Keeper agrees.
>
> ‘And last,’ Carlos said,
> ‘I’ll need another week to come up with the $500.00!’
>